Dimpi's Blog

Name:
Location: New York, New York, United States

My move to New York has become something of a challenge and a tremendous source of entertainment for friends and co-workers. So I've started this blog. Hope to amuse and educate you.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

India, Tsunami and New year resolutions

India:
I went to India for 2.5 weeks in December. The trip was unexpected fun. I'm always very wary of going home, especially alone. I have to meet in-laws, parents and hosts of other people whose names I tend to forget. I find that people who see you after a long time tend to expect some change in you. Some form of americanization that is either good or bad, but definitely evident. I don't think I've changed so much. My wardrobe has changed some, but I always travel in jeans and t-shirts so no one will notice that I have added skirts and sequences to fashion repertoire. In Delhi, my mom in law had salwar kamaeezes in the latest styles that I borrowed freely. In Jam, I lounged about in my mothers old and very modestly cut salwars. My accent reverts completely 2 days after I land in Delhi (but my hindi still sucks). And with my hair tied up, I think I look like I did in 9th standard. But I got the following --
" Ekdum badli nahi... sirf mature lag rahi hai, beti" [You haven't changed at all, you only look mature now]
" You've lost some weight"
" You've put on some weight"
" You look like a foreigner" -- this from my uncle.

Anyway, Delhi was a big hullabaloo of activity. Delhi has a fantastic pollution and traffic problem. My father in-law is still maintains his small-town manners when driving on Delhi streets, (such as waiting for the light to turn green before speeding off) which irritated native Delhi drivers no end and caused all kinds of road-rage to manifest itself. We drove around a lot like this so that I could get all my shopping done. I returned home at night with my throat clogged with dust, a splitting headache and my good humor bested. On the flip side, my in-laws were unerringly accomodating. I had my fill of chaat at Haldiram's and all kinds of stuffed parathas at home. I also talked at length with my MIL about NYC, her son, and our prospects for the next few years. Later during my stay, my BIL visited from Bombay. I'd met him last when I came for my wedding in 2001. He looked like a lanky boy then. He looks very good now. He also seemed very sure of himself and what he wants. So we talked about this and that over the two days he was there. I also met a horde of Animesh's cousins and mausis who were all super nice to me. My enthusiasm was somewhat deterred at times by the need to indulge in feet-touching. Feet-touching, for the uninitiated, is a great (mostly) north-indian tradition and a way to show respect to elders. It is also a tradition greatly denounced in my parents' house and something my mother positively detests. The anticipation of having to touch feet brings me prolonged stress... but I did it when asked because I thought it was a small price to pay.

In Jam, my parents looked better than ever. They live very healthy lives as compared to Animesh and me. They wake up early, exercise, do yoga, eat at home, read a lot, meet friends regularly and laugh a great deal. While I was there, they woke me up in time to go for morning walks in Jubilee park and horse-riding in the nearby riding school. The latter is a recent activity for them, and when I went along I had an amazing time. Contrary to my misconception, the horse does NOT do all the work! The things about Jamshedpur is that you meet someone you know every 10 mins and you have to stop and chat for about 15 mins (this is what my mother calls 'saying hello properly'). The other nice thing about jamshedpur is the traffic and pollution so prevalent in Delhi hasn't touched Jam. On the flip side, my mother has retained every antiquity of our past lives in the apartment they are renting. From Rana's 5th standard essays, to Didi's crochetted dress from when she was 2yrs old. Other than that, the apartment is very cozy. Its located in a quiet part of town and close to a lot of their friends. Jam doesn't look any different than it did ten years ago, which is both reassuring and nice. Its always nice to go back home.

Tsunami:
We heard about it soon after I got home on christmas day. For the first few days, I was glued to the TV trying to figure out what the extent of the damage was. At about the time, Anni and I started talking about donating to the relief effort. We were both put off by the RedCross, the charity of choice in the US. Their overhead is quite high. I'm not sure how much of our money would actually reach the people impacted. Besides, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had not explicitly requested foreign aid. So I didn't know if RedCross would be able and willing to help India at all. And finally Animesh and I were a little miffed at the US reaction to the crisis. It isn't about how much your perceived generosity is, it isn't about what your perceived role is, its about how much empathy you really feel. The debates and comparisons to money spent in Iraq were unnecessary and discourses on american generosity were condescending. Finally we decided to contribute to the Prime Ministers National Relief fund. The website had several problems. First the prime minister's picture was wrong (They had ex-prime minister, Atal Behari Vajpayee's photo on it! He's one of the leaders of the opposition, for God's sake!!), then the site did not accept contributions from foreign accounts. While we scratched our heads wondering what to do, they set up a New York embassy address we could mail checks to, (Anni thought it wasn't tech-savvy enough to expect people to mail paper checks to a US adddress...) and finally, yesterday, they set up an online account for direct credit card contributions. Hooray for the prime minister's fund! We finally put in $200 much to Anni's chagrin ("Why $200?! We're only students!" "Because thats how much I spent on a saari in Delhi this time. And I'll probably only wear the saari once or twice, shame on me!").

New Year in New York:
Our first New Year's eve celebration in New York was very quiet. We couldn't afford any of those anonymous parties in local clubs, and we weren't up to the brouhaha we were invited to by various Stern students. At 5pm, we decided to walk to Times Square and see what was going on. We weren't able to get beyond 49th street! The streets were filling up with people waiting for the great ball drop. We stopped at Houlihans for wings and dessert and by the time we got out (7pm) we weren't allowed back on Broadway. We had to detour through central park to get home. But the walk was illuminating... even though we live so close to boradway, we were told that 'real' new yorkers do NOT watch the ball drop. Besides people wait for hours (some as much as 7 hours) in the cold without being able to use public toilet facilities. So enterprising hawkers actually sell adult diapers so that you can 'go' with some semblance of privacy. Aaah. Even fake new yorker, like ourselves, wouldn't want any part of that. On our walk down we saw a group of south indian gentlemen near 50th street. They were sitting on the side-walk with gloves and excess woolens, eating from giant tiffin boxes filled with tair-chadam and puliyen-chadam (curd-rice and tamarind rice!). I laughed so much then... and it still makes me smile.

At about 10pm, Jiten, Animesh's friend came over, and we walked to a pub on Columbus and 70th. We saw the ball drop on TV, and Ashlee Simpson croon to music that was muted out. Later, Jiten went home, and Animesh and I went to Prohibition. It was past 12.30. They let us in for $25.00 each... the full price for the party was $125.00 each. We got a couple of free drinks and heard some good live jazz. We talked about how great prohibition was and how we should celebrate New Years again on the 1st when it was a lot cheaper. On the 1st, we went to MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) on 53rd and 6th. We had just purchased annual membership, so we didn't have to stand in the long line outside. The MoMA was recently renovated by Yoshio Taniguchi and has the most extensive collection of modern art. In the few hours we were there, we covered one floor and watched a french film, the chorus, that I highly recommend. We didn't go out clubbing that night.

Animesh tells me he doesn't believe in New Year resolutions. I do. I've made resolutions every year and even though I break the specifics, it has made me improve myself gradually over the years. I've become healthier (only slightly), wealthier (definitely wealthier!) and hopefully wiser. So my resolution this is is to 'live my life like I mean it' (I read that somewhere). I want to learn more (languages, painting, art), cook more (so I don't eat out so much), read more, write more, walk more (in central park... followed by yoga) and try to be happier. To that end, I've decided to do a book review section at the end of my blog to keep track of what I read.

Book review Dec-Jan:
Intepreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri: Excellent. The stories are sad but not depressing. Her view of traditional indian immigrants is dated, thought, and not something we can easily relate to.
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho: Engaging. This book was recommended to me by my BIL. He started out great, telling you to not lose track of your destiny etc. He loses track of his message in the twists and turns the story takes.
Collected Stories of Gabriel Garcia Marquez: No Review. I've read about a third of the stories. They are each extremely well written, but I find that I don't understand the plot. I'm assuming there is a plot, and not an idle observation of the world around him. Maybe something is lost in translation, but I'm left feeling vaguely depressed after reading these stories.

I'm reading a three book series by Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials, which I got for christmas. They are fantasy novels for children so hopefully I will not have trouble with the plot :-)

Thats all for now, happy new year!